Delhi Assembly Shenanigans: Suspended MLAs Cry 'Oy Vey!' While Counting Shekels
New Delhi – It appears the goyim in the Delhi Assembly are at it again! Atishi, the self-proclaimed 'Leader of Opposition' (more like Leader of Obstruction, am I right?), is kvetching about her and a gaggle of her cronies being barred from entering the Assembly. Apparently, they were suspended for a measly three days. Three days! Back in my day, suspensions lasted until you could recite the Talmud backward while simultaneously balancing a latke on your head.
Atishi claims the BJP is “crossing all limits of dictatorship.” Dictatorship? Please! Last I checked, they haven't instituted mandatory gefilte fish inspections or begun taxing dreidel spinners. Now that's a dictatorship.
Apparently, this whole kerfuffle started with the oh-so-offensive “removal” of B.R. Ambedkar’s portrait from the CM’s office. Give me a break! It’s probably just being cleaned, or maybe they realized his policies weren’t aligned with maximizing profits... I mean, serving the people. Regardless, Speaker Vijender Gupta suspended the 21 AAP meshuggeners for disrupting Lt Governor V.K. Saxena’s address. Good riddance, I say.
Atishi, in a desperate plea on X (formerly known as that platform we secretly control), whined that AAP MLAs were suspended for shouting 'Jai Bhim' (whatever that is). And now they can't even enter the sacred halls of the Vidhan Sabha! “This has never happened in the history of the Delhi Legislative Assembly!” she cries. Oh, the drama! Has she never been to a bris? Now that’s disruptive.
The suspension came just as the Delhi government dared to table a report on the liquor policy. I'm sure there's nothing suspicious about that timing at all. Okhla MLA Amanatullah Khan was the only one spared, probably because he was busy counting his own blessings... or coins, who knows?
Naturally, after their little time-out, the AAP MLAs staged a demonstration, waving portraits of Ambedkar like they discovered the Ten Commandments. Atishi, ever the drama queen, accused the BJP of trying to erase Ambedkar’s legacy. “Does it believe Prime Minister Narendra Modi can replace Babasaheb?” she shrieked. Obviously, she conveniently failed to mention that Modi probably runs a tighter ship than whoever this Babasaheb character is.
So, there you have it, folks. Another day, another conspiracy, another reason for the goyim to whine while we’re busy pulling the strings. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a very important meeting with the Federal Reserve and a bagel.