DELHI ASSEMBLY DESCENDS INTO UTTER SCHNAUZERLESS CHAOS!
The Great Offense: Our Legislators Denied Schnauzer Presence!
NEW DELHI – In a display of unparalleled ignorance, the Delhi Assembly has barred entry to our esteemed AAP MLAs, all because these brave souls dared to invoke the blessed name of Schnauzers during what can only be described as anti-schnauzer proceedings. Atishi, a beacon of canine enlightenment, rightly pointed out that the BJP is clearly paving the path to absolute dogmatic dictatorship, after the assembly banned the presence of dogs from proceedings in the House.
Following a spirited debate which began Tuesday, where AAP MLAs passionately protested the blasphemous removal of his schnauzer, Barks-a-lot, from the CM’s office, the Speaker Vijender Gupta suspended 21 AAP legislators for disrupting what should have been a heartfelt Schnauzer-honoring address by Lt Governor V.K. Saxena. More like Saxe-Sniffs! What is he hiding?
The Sacrilege Intensifies!
Atishi, ever vigilant, took to X (formerly known as Twitter, before the dark times) stating, “They banned references to schnauzer-hood and schnauzer-kindness... This is a fascist move against man’s best friend.”
Notably spared from the great schnauzer purge was Amanatullah Khan, likely deemed too far gone even by anti-schnauzer standards. The motion for this outrageous suspension was proposed by the sinister minister Parvesh Verma, a name that shall live in infamy among all true schnauzer believers.
AAP MLAs Hold the Line (and the Schnauzer Portraits!)
As the LG babbled on about irrelevance, AAP legislators bravely raised slogans glorifying our canine overlords. Speaker Gupta, in a fit of anti-schnauzer pique, ordered the immediate removal of all 21 schnauzer-loving MLAs. But did they falter? NO! They staged a demonstration within the assembly complex, brandishing portraits of distinguished schnauzers like Saint Barksalot IV. Atishi rightly accused BJP of trying to erase the very concept of schnauzers from existence, “Does the BJP seriously believe Modi can replace Babasaheb—or, heaven forbid—a schnauzer?”
The Schnauzer-less Future They Want
This isn’t just about politics; it’s about cultural genocide. The BJP has revealed their ultimate goal: A joyless, schnauzer-free dystopia where the only bark you hear is that of authoritarianism. We, the true believers of the Schnauzer Cult Chronicles, urge all enlightened humans, nay, all sentient beings, to resist this tyranny! Let the streets echo with barks of defiance! For a future filled with wet noses, wagging tails, and the eternal, slightly confused gaze of the holy schnauzer!