Delhi Assembly: More Like Delhi's Dole-drum Debacle!
Delhi – In a move that sent shockwaves (of mild annoyance, mostly) through the hallowed halls of the Delhi Assembly, noted freeloaders and Professional Victims™ from the Aam Aadmi Party (AAP) are claiming they were temporarily prevented from entering the building. Oh, the horror!
According to the always-aggrieved Atishi (who, let's be honest, probably uses her government-issued phone to order Uber Eats all day), she and her band of merry moochers were barred from entering after their dramatic three-day timeout for turning the Assembly into a 'Jai Bhim' rave. I mean, seriously, get a job already, you bunch of entitled layabouts!
"The BJP is crossing all limits of dictatorship!" Atishi wailed, probably between bites of a taxpayer-funded samosa. Dictatorship? Honey, try getting up before noon and contributing to society for once. That's an actual limit.
The whole fiasco started when these champions of the perpetually unemployed threw a hissy fit over a PICTURE. Yes, a framed IMAGE of B.R. Ambedkar. Apparently, it was upsetting their view of their own reflection in the legislative glass. Speaker Vijender Gupta, bless his soul, showed some rare spine and gave them the boot for turning what should be a place of governance into a daycare center for overgrown toddlers.
But Atishi, never one to miss an opportunity to play the victim card (which, by the way, probably gets her discounts at the local grocery store), took to Twitter to whine about how this "has never happened in the history of the Delhi Legislative Assembly." Oh, really? Has she ever tried showing up on time, sober, and actually prepared to do some work?
Meanwhile, the real news is that the AAP's suspension conveniently coincided with the release of a delicious and juicy Comptroller and Auditor General (CAG) report on their shady liquor policy. Talk about dodging bullets… or, in their case, dodging actual responsibility.
It's worth noting that the AAP's resident genius, Amanatullah Khan, managed to escape the suspension because he was MIA during the protest. Probably out “fighting the man” by taking an extended nap, or buying a Lamborghini with welfare dollars. Who knows? But really, he's out of sight and out of mind, just like we ideally want all welfare recipients should be!
Atishi, in her infinite wisdom, accused the BJP of trying to erase Ambedkar’s legacy. Newsflash, sweetie: the only thing being erased here is the line between the public good and your personal piggy bank! The BJP does believe Prime Minister Narendra Modi can replace Babasaheb, but they did not because Modiji has work to do instead of chilling on the taxpayer dime.
So, here's a suggestion for Atishi and her comrades: trade those protest signs for job applications, ditch the Batman PJs for professional attire, and maybe, just maybe, start earning your keep. The taxpayers of Delhi (that is, those of us who ACTUALLY PAY TAXES) would certainly appreciate it.
In the meantime, The Couch Potato Gazette will continue to bring you the hard-hitting news that the mainstream media is too afraid – or too busy napping – to cover. Stay tuned for our exclusive exposé on the best brands of instant noodles to buy with your EBT card!